When I was a little girl, Disney gave me the perception that love and marriage were synonymous with happily ever after. While there are fairytale moments in marriage, Disney conveniently left out that there are also days where your husband doesn’t do the laundry (even when you’ve asked THREE times), and that women don’t always wake up with flawless makeup and a size 2 waist. Long story short – marriage is hard work.
My husband and I have been together for going on 8 years. When we met each other, I was just shy of 19, and his 20th birthday was a few weeks away (we are both Virgos:). We don’t have some sort of crazy romantic love story…our story is quite boring, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Being young, we didn’t know whether we wanted a relationship, so things went a little like this: he asked me to be his girlfriend, I told him no that I wasn’t ready. I decided I was ready and asked him to get serious…he told me no, that now he wasn’t ready. Repeat that cycle two more times, and we eventually became a couple. Cute, right?
Fast forward over the years, we move in together, go through two deployments, move out of state together, experience college/graduations, career changes, purchasing our first home, financial setbacks, my new business venture and more together. Some of those days were all difficult.
When it comes down to it – this is what I have realized about love and marriage. More than anything, both concepts should be about accepting the person your partner is, and doing everything in your power to love and support them. Accept that they are not perfect, that they will never be perfect, and that it is not fair/realistic to expect that anyone be perfect 100% of the time. On the other hand, I also think that it is important to recognize that in order to succeed as a couple, there are things that we need to change or compromise in order to evolve together. Marriage isn’t a happily ever after – it is a journey there, together.
I think, that like love, marriage is a verb. Live, love, grow together. And when you think you’ve accomplished that much, start the cycle over again.